A Surprise Finding: Most Kids between 9 and 13 Are Stressed About School
A nationwide study by Nemours Children’s Health reveals that two out of every three children are carrying school-related worry on their shoulders. Those concerns are not just about poor grades—everything from bullying to birthday-party exclusions is creeping into young minds.
What, Exactly, Is Troubling Our Children?
- Away-from-home anxiety—the “I miss you already” feeling when the bell rings.
- Academic overload—homework alone is cited by more than half the kids in the sample.
- Peer isolation—the lunchtime image of an empty seat and untouched sandwich.
Dr. Sue Varma, a consulting psychiatrist and mother of two, summed it up on “CBS Mornings Plus”:
“These aren’t just ‘case of the Mondays.’ It’s worry about being laughed at, failing math, or never getting that invite to the birthday at the trampoline park.”
Turn Homework Hour into Connection Hour
Instead of dreading math worksheets, Dr. Varma flips homework time into a relaxed bonding ritual.
She sits beside her kids, colored pens scattered, asking questions like detectives on an episode of their favorite show.
This “window into their day” does two things at once:
- It shrinks stress by pairing learning with warmth.
- It arms parents with real examples to share with teachers.
Build a Tag-Team with Educators
Rather than waiting for a report card or behavioral warning, Dr. Varma advises parents to open dialogue early. Start with tight, specific questions:
Academic Pulse Checks
• Does my child volunteer answers during reading circles?
• Is he or she comfortable asking for help when a word or equation gets tricky?
Social Barometers
• Who did my child sit with at snack break?
• Did an argument break out at recess, and how did my child respond?
These sharper questions paint a clearer picture than the vague “How was school?” that often ends with a shrug.
Don’t Overlook a Secret Ally: the School Counselor
Counselors aren’t just for crises. They occupy the overlap between academics, emotions, and friendships — a neutral zone where a child can unpack fears without fear of embarrassment.
How to Introduce the Counselor
- Explain the counselor’s role in casual terms: “They’re like a teacher who’s also a great listener and helps solve tricky problems.”
- Offer a trial visit framed as exploration, not punishment.
- Reschedule quickly if the first attempt feels awkward; timing matters as much as the meeting itself.
Three Micro-Habits to Lower the Daily Worry Dial
- 5-Minute Show & Tell: Let the child teach one concept they learned that day—confidence soars when they play “expert.”
- Nickname Strategy: Co-create a playful nickname for challenging subjects (“Math-o-Matic” or “Reading Ninja”) to turn dread into friendly challenge.
- Worry Box: Keep a decorated box on the kitchen counter. Kids drop anonymous slips about small frustrations. Review together Saturday morning and brainstorm fixes over pancakes.
Stress won’t vanish overnight, but steady, concrete steps like these shrink the weight kids carry—and remind them that at least one adult is ready to meet them exactly where they are.
