Why Chasing Friends With a Fear of Loneliness Is Like Trying to Catch a Unicorn in a Trash Can
Ever wondered why the best dating apps never give you a “Find Your Soulmate” button? According to TV journalist Azhar Fateh, the problem isn’t the apps—it’s the invisible wall we build around our own hearts.
The Myth of “Just Be Social”
- No. Releasing your fear of being alone isn’t the secret sauce to endless parties.
- It’s actually the opposite—ketosis and the whole emotional body‑balance recipe.
- People mistakenly think that relaxing about being solo means they’ll “slip up” and never put in the effort to go out, date, or meet cool people.
Azhar’s Take: Fear Blocks the Friendship Factory
In his latest YouTube clip—yes, the one that has a splash screen with a tiny animated owl—Fateh explains that the “loneliness phobia” is the real enemy. It keeps us from showing emotions, forming healthy boundaries, and, ultimately, from forging solid bonds.
How It All Comes Together
- Stop hiding your “I can’t be alone” thoughts.
- Practice expressing feelings without fear of judgment.
- Set random boundaries like “I’ll call my friend last Friday.”
- Patience is key: relationships don’t grow overnight—they’re like fine cheese, they need time.
A simple reminder: the thing that feels most scary is actually the missing piece of the puzzle. To talk to a buddy—or to kiss that mysterious stranger—you first have to let yourself feel comfortable with the possibility of being solo. Then, the rest of the process flows naturally.
How the Fear of Loneliness Holds Us Back
Azhar Fateh explains how the fear of loneliness holds us back. Consider this: A person living with an intense fear of ending up alone will feel the push to go out and socialize, he will be able to make connections but will not be able to cultivate them into a bond because he fears that people will abandon him if he was to assert his needs and share how he truly feels. However, the person on the other end senses the lack of authenticity and honesty and decides that he cannot trust this person and that leads to abandonment. The very thing that the person who craves social connections is trying to prevent. This vicious cycle replays every time the person living with a fear of loneliness tries to socialize.
Loneliness: The Not‑So‑Quiet Killer
Ever feel like you’re the only one who really matters? Well, you’re not alone. The Surgeon General of the United States has issued a stark warning: loneliness is a silent assassin that can push people toward drug addiction, weight gain, depression, and even suicidal thoughts.
What’s the real danger?
- Addictive habits – when you feel isolated, you’re more likely to turn to substances for comfort.
- Health fallout – prolonged loneliness can lead to obesity and chronic illness.
- Mental health crash – depression and anxiety thrive when the social support pinches out.
- Extremely bleak – it may even drive folks to take their own lives.
Single (or double) the numbers?
A recent study found that 93 million Americans are grappling with loneliness. That’s not just a bunch of people; it’s a massive number who may end up in toxic relationships or desperately cling to a marriage that’s already broken.
So why is this so scary?
Loneliness turns your inner fear into a tangible prison. Instead of walking a healthy path, you might be dragged into an unhealthy relationship or the only “comfort” that exists might be a drug or alcohol.
What’s the takeaway? Embrace connection. Open up to friends, family, or even strangers. A simple laugh or conversation can make the difference between living in isolation and living in intimacy.
How to Overcome Loneliness
Loneliness: The Unexpected Edge of Human Connection
Ever feel like you’re the lone ranger in a crowded square? It turns out, loneliness can be a gift, not a curse. By acknowledging that “sometimes I kinda like being solo” is part of life, we open the door to finding companions who truly strengthen us.
Why a Long‑Term Friend Matters
- Boundaries become less scary: When you’re comfortable standing alone, you’re less likely to feel guilty about setting limits.
- Authenticity spark: If your buddy is always nodding along without saying the truth, you’ll miss that electric chemistry.
- You get a real ally: A friend who pushes you, not pulls you into the “yes‑and‑yes” zone, builds a bond that’s worth a lifetime.
The Dark Side of “Always‑Please” People
People who seem perpetually agreeable? They’re a turn‑off. They mop up your energy but never share their own, leaving you feeling like you’re on a one‑way road to a relationship brand‑stamped with “nice.” Authenticity is the real secret sauce, turning casual chats into deep, lasting connections.
Loneliness as a License to Be Real
Let’s face it: you might end up alone— but that’s not a disaster. Accepting that possibility gives you the psychological oxygen needed to live genuinely in every interaction. The more you trust yourself, the more honest and safe you feel navigating all the ups and downs of human bonding.
