Labour’s Budget: The Great Fiasco of 2025
If the UK’s new Labour government claimed it’s all “high‑trust, low‑tax” and “the people’s friends”, the reality is more like a clown’s big, smelly pie—totally off‑target and full of rotted promises.
The Rip‑Off Punchlines
- £22 billion “black hole” – The chancellor claims we’re stuck in a hole so big because of the government itself, not because of the public. Classic deflection.
- £8 billion wasted on “militant” train drivers and doctors – Over‑paying key workers is harsh but does not explain the lack of booster policy for pensioners or the working class.
- An extra £15 billion slice in National Insurance for businesses – This sweetener is actually a sting to small‑medium firms already juggling cash flow.
- Capital Gains Tax and minimum wage hikes – Boosts that, for many, mean higher bills rather than higher wages.
- An Income Tax threshold freeze until at least 2029 – Keeps lower‑income households from seeing relief at all.
Why “Invest, Invest, Invest” is a Lame Pitch
“Good for growth!” the chancellor yells from the podium. But while the feds continue to send fresh tax bundles into the booming corporate sector, the rest of us are left feeling a cold, empty marketplace. Even pints of beer might start costing more—the sort of thing that would make a pub owner earn a half‑brain‑relief cry: “I’m running out of cash, but my landlord is still asking for a higher rent!”
Growth Forecasts that Make No Sense
The projections show GDP going from a modest 1.1 % this year to a “staggering” 1.6 % in 2029… … only if you apply a very generous t‑shirt of optimism that forgets inflation is still pulling at the economy’s back. That’s about as realistic as a unicorn riding a rainbow.
The Lasting Bigger Picture
Rates and inflation will stay high for longer because the budget’s lines are full of more “bikes” than brakes. The contracts that lawmakers wanted to stick were, if anything, swallowed by a self‑inflicted parser—now with an extra horror for the ongoing economic cycle.
In short, the new budget is like a magician who only knows how to pull a hare out of a hat and to say “abracadabra”. Not nearly enough tricks to recover the money we’ve just pulled.
Stay tuned for a wild ride with the rest of the UK fiscal agenda this year.
