What’s the Deal? A Russian Take‑Down on the New EU‑US Tariff Pact
Meta‑facts & Mayhem
In an email that read more like a headline than a policy briefing, Moscow’s Deputy Security Council chief Dmitry Medvedev blasted the Washington‑to‑Brussels 15% tariff overhaul, calling it a “humiliating fiasco” for Europe.
“Trump’s deal has “squashed” the EU,” he wrote on Telegram, declaring that European leaders should storm Brussels! My plain‑English take‑away? He’s begging the EU to send a “locked‑door, capped‑price” uprising to the seat of its own power.
Key Critiques, Straight‑Forwardly
- Totally Kept America on Its Own: The hub‑spar ring of 15% tariffs means European goods could feel the pinch, while U.S. exports get a free‑ride off the bandwagon.
- Shocking Price Tag on EU Energy: Europe would have to pay steep U.S. energy costs – a direct blow to its agriculture and manufacturing lifeblood.
- Capital Flight to the U.S.: The deal is a major tug of war pulling funding from Europe straight into American pockets.
Slam‑Dunks on Leadership
Medvedev didn’t hold back on the European Commission’s Ariadne. “Ursula van Leyen is a ‘crazy old witch,’” he said. He also named the U.S. President a “mad old wench” – though in a twist, he said the deal was clearly aimed at Russia, banning the purchase of Russian oil and gas.
The Voice & the Rhyme
While the U.S. shows a hiccup of consistency, painting the deal as “business first,” Medvedev paints the EU’s stance as “neo‑Nazi” – a coup for its own people’s welfare.
Why It Matters to the Rest of the World
In short, the specter of a tariff war refuses to exist in a seamless grand ol’ deal, but as Medvedev’s tangled analysis tells us, the EU feels like it’s stumbling on a duty‑laden rug.
Will European leaders put on their protest socks, or will the “storm” come later? Only history will say. Until then, this is a tale that still rings hollow with humor and heart‑ache—tying together politics, politics, and a good, cold dose of honesty.
