Russian MP Fires Off a Wild Ultimatum to Sir Keir Starmer
Dmitry Rogozin, the former deputy premier and ex‑head of Russia’s Space Agency, tossed a bizarre warning at Sir Keir Starmer. According to the Russian insider, any British troops sent to Ukraine as “peacekeepers” will face a “nasty back‑fire” from Moscow.
Rogozin’s Southern‑most (or northern?) Forecast
In an un‑usual tactic, the MP claimed that the bodies of these soldiers would be repurposed as…
- “Feed for thousands of local mice.”
What can that possibly mean? - The Russians allegedly want to “fertilise the Crimean vineyards.”
That just sounds like a green‑house fantasy.
Starmer’s “Fearless” Proposal
Rogozin, chewing on the idea that the British Prime Minister might swoop in with the Royal Navy and Army, tried to add:
“… Don’t just talk about sending forces. Send them, and let the Scots wearing their tartan combat skirts know it’s time to roll out the drones. We’ll ex‑haust the threat and then celebrate with a good ol’ anti‑Russian barbecue.
Key Takeaways
- Russian warning of severe hostility if the UK sends troops to Ukraine.
- Ridiculous claim that bodies would become “mouse feed.”
- Starmer’s alleged “courage” to dispatch troops.
Though the original statement is satirical, it underlines the tension between Russia and the UK over Ukraine, and Moscow’s readiness to label foreign troops as enemies if they intervene.
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Russia Fires a Heavy Message to Paris Over Macron’s Nuclear Provocation
TL;DR: Russia’s top brass has responded to French President Emmanuel Macron’s chilling nuclear threat by saying “Don’t tread on our toes, Europe—NATO could disappear in the next 24 hours.” It’s a high‑stakes warning wrapped in a dash of dark humor.
What the Russians Actually Said
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Major General Apti Alaudinov:
In a blunt note to Macron, the general told the French President that many of his “little frogs” (the troops Russia is sending to Ukraine) will likely martyr themselves. He added that if any European leaders decide to “boot” themselves onto the ground in Ukraine, NATO and the whole European bloc could crumble. “We’re ready to field a couple of million strong army that would leave other armies forever scrambling,” he quipped. “If they go ahead, the whole of Europe might just vanish in a puff of smoke. NATO will split apart no matter what.” -
Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov:
Lavrov fired back, saying Moscow will not tolerate NATO peacekeepers roaming Ukraine. “It’s not a covert hybrid war, it’s a direct, official invasion by NATO states. That can’t be allowed.” He framed any NATO presence as “simply troops of NATO countries.” “Whether it’s EU flags, national banners or even Bandera symbols slapped on uniforms, the outcome remains the same: it’s NATO.”
Why It Matters
The Russian rhetoric is a stark reminder that Europe’s political and military footing is precarious. Whether it’s the fearmongering about carving up the continent or the possibility of a NATO collapse, the message is crystal clear: step into Ukraine, and you risk turning the European map upside down.
Spin‑the‑Wheel Style Right‑Now
While the top brass spoke in thick Russian formality, the world is still hoping for a witty, light‑hearted resolution. But until leaders tune into each other’s warnings, the heavy drumbeat behind “the new millennium’s Cold War” continues.
